The SIL

The SIL is apparently upset with me today.

She has no one to take the Niece on Friday.

Well effing excuuuuuuse me!

This is a long post...so you can run away screaming or get comfortable and ready to fall asleep.

She scheduled minor eye surgery without asking me if it was ok with me. Just assumed I will eagerly drag her kids all over town and inconvience my kids just so she does not have to deal with her kids. ANY EXCUSE TO PALM THEM OFF ON SOMEONE ELSE! She does this all the time.

I can not even begin to say how pissed that makes me. I remember when they first had the nephew. They always needed a babysitter for important things like HAIRCUTS! GASP! Haircuts!!! Imagine lining up a babysitter to get a haircut! They would have wigged if they had twins like I did. I took my kids everywhere I needed to be as long as it was appropiate for them to be there. Or I did not go at all. That meant TWO baby carriers, TWO diaper bags, TWO supplies of bottles, TWO of everything. I did it all alone. If I could not do I waited for help from my husband when he got home from one of this then THREE jobs. If anyone needed a babysitter it was me. To this day JA who now works one job, thank god...JA starts work at 6:00AM and gets home when the job is finished. That means I never know if he will be home at 4:00 or 9:00. I do the whole weekday/kids thing with the idea I am doing it alone. Do you know what it is like to have the flu and you still have to drive your kids to school? The buses don't come here. We live too far. Or have to be the only parent who is available to pick up a sick kid? Not the SIL. That is what relatives are for.

Why the hell can't her father (who is going with her to the surgery and then they will go back to his house for the rest of the day. she will sleep there and he will take her back to the doc the next day for a followup then he will drop her off at my house so I can now babysit her and her as well) ok, lost my point there...why can't the niece just go with them? OR?...Why can't my brother just go to work later on Friday after taking their kids to their school/babysitter? Why does she think she can milk a kid-free two days out of minor surgery? That she can lay about, the dainty little lady, for this surgery? Hell, my grandfather had the same surgery when he was 91. Went grocery shopping and out to lunch the same day.

The surgery is not long. It is just her friggin eye. She is going to be awake. In and done within an hour. The only restriction she has is she can not drive for 24 hours. That is it. She is not going to be blinded and totally unable to take care of HER daughter. Her father can help her. Why do I have to drop what I am doing so she can friggin sit around in peace and quiet and recover from her horrendous surgery while I am running around with her kids!

I know my brother loathes to take time off from work because of the probation and head doc appointments he is required to attend each month. But you know what? He did the crime. The SIL is starting to get on my nerves about this whole thing that my brother did. She keeps bringing it up. She holds it over his head and is starting to do it to the rest of our family. Others have noticed this and getting fed up. HE did it. Not us. Stop making us feel like we should be so grateful she stayed with him when most women would have left. That is her decision. Not ours. We supported them as best as we could. But her decision to stay with him is also her decision to take care of her family under these circumstances. We have learned long ago that she calls the shots and misinforms my brother about the details. With him being deaf it is easy to overlook what most of us overhear in conversations. She is sly as a fox.

Back to the surgery. She most certainly arranged for her needs first. Once again, she always comes first. In fact her with the designer shoes, handbags...while my nephew yesterday went to school with sweat pants that were cheap, too small and hand several holes in each leg. She wants to have a couple days to herself without dealing with her kids. This means she wants me to pick up her kids on Thursday after school and keep them, care for them, have them sleep here, feed them (which I always have to do. feed them breakfast when I watch them for the day. she won't even make them breakfast becasue it is more easier for me to do it) and drag them around the next day just so she has alone time. What is this some kind spa treatment? That is not what other mommies do. Other mommies I know do not palm their kids off at the drop of a hat. You know after my last surgery, I had no help from anyone. I stayed with my mom for a couple days at her request. I then was home and out of work for many weeks. At that time JA was still recovering from his injuries from his accident. He was still in therapy. There I was flat on my back. I only left the house to take the twins to camp and back. DID I ASK FOR HELP? It was not easy but we did it.

Another thing...yesterday my niece told me, "You're stupid. You know nothing about everything. You don't know anything."

This of course was at Targ@t in front of a group of people while talking about where JA was and his job. Why should I even want to watch this brat? This of course came after she got mad I would not put her in the cart. There is that whole issue of my brother carrying the kids well after they should be walking but that is another story. Well honey, I have a spot on my side that is prone to hernias. I have had surgery for that problem three times. I am not about to lift a five year old into the cart and end up having my tummy cut open from hip to hip. Her whining started after walking all of two minutes about how tired her feet were. She did the whole eye rolling and deep sighing. At one point she even grabbed the cart and had to "catch my breathing for I am so tired." Her goal was to make my shopping trip as miserable for me as possible. Well I set her straight right away. Told her if she ever talks to me that way again I will never watch her. Then I told her that I am making sure her parents know she talks bad to to other people. As for the walking I told her it was just too bad and get over it. Being overly kind at that moment would have led to more whining.

So now I am a horrible person for not liking some of the things this kid does. My SIL is mad that I did not fall into her plotting and manipulative ways just so she could get alone time. What mother does not want alone time? We all do. Do we get it? Most of us never get it. But the SIL would manipulate any situation and somehow weasel time for herself into it. I am not going to participate in that mess.

What this all comes down to is somewhere I am sure...my brother told her when they got married that my family helps each other out. And we do. A lot more then most families. SIL saw that as an opprotunity to suck us dry. I reminded my brother yesterday about helping out with the move. I see SIL is going to pull something that day. I can feel it. She after all informed us she herself can not help because (this is before she scheduled surgery conviently the day before) she can not see very well.

Oh but she can see well enough to drive! She can see well enough when she gets a doctor bill and needs my parents help to pay for it. Or how she "accidentally" leaves another bill in with the one she wants help with. (my parents stopped helping them with this stuff because she assumed so much and was never thankful. My brother just goes blindly along with all of it. She is his wife and can do no wrong. 'Sides I am not sure he even sees this other side the rest of us see.)

Enough of my rant. I am spent and feel better I got these horrible feelings off my chest.

Comments

[Patrick]

Wow.... Got Milk?

Actually Aithne, how about you and I switch places for one day. I will drag the brat to the store and when she complains that it is just too much to walk around, I'll hit her with the old "In that case, we better not go to Cedar Point as you have to walk a lot more that just an hour in a store. In fact since you are so out of shape, we better just put you in bed so you don't tax your health too much (undeserving little twit". As for the SIL, how about disabling her cable for a while on a summer day? I can arrange so that her car isn't available, and without the TV, the child can drive her nuts. Anything for you!

In return, you can tell my ex that he has a very special place burning in hell for him and you would be very happy to give him a first class ticket to get him there a bit faster.

Glad you feel better getting that off your chest though.